Sick....or Something like that

I am very sensitive and I am very sick of it………even when I fall madly in love with someone I fall with the most selfish person on the planet……… I am really really sick of it….sick of my weakness, of my hunger and my incredible need of love, care and compassion……. Is it the solution to replace my heart with void stone glass steal or anything non-human to survive….. or am I too much and I am over reacting…………am I that un-lucky with people or it is me who is completely un-fair to people and I have impossible idealistic standards……….i am a great person everyone already acknowledged that so what is the problem is it confusion is it no self esteem no I like myself very much and I am very pleased with myself….this amazing continuous disappointment of people where does it come from….do I have a sick mind do I enjoy being a victim…..NO NO NO I am not like that…..I am sick of reconciling myself…I am sick of paying too much attention to people’s feelings while they just consider themselves human if they forget about me or don’t take care of me…..i am sick of not being able to cry when I want to…………i just want be happy fulfilled and ……………….loved………and no it shouldn’t be not news to me anymore…………it is extremely too much to ask…………